Friday, April 6, 2012
As I opened the door, there was utter destruction and ruin. Walls torn down, gravel and old wallpaper on the floor, some rooms with floors or ceilings caved in. I looked in disbelief and yet I didn't turn around. I became curious. I can recall the tiny pebbles of dirt and other material glistening on the floors. In spite of the wreckage, there was a seemingly solid foundation.
After a good 24 hrs to ponder this, I decided to investigate this dream. 8, which I have a strong numerological connection to, is also the symbol of infinity when on its side. It also corresponds with the Universe of Assiyah and the Hebrew letter, Chet -- which happens to be tattooed on my foot. On the Tree of Life, it is assigned to Hod -- the sefirot of location, placeness, splendor, one's secret garden.
In my last Lifepath year, 2006, significant life-altering events happened. In February of that year, a former client made false allegations which have since taken a different shape and I am in the midst of legal matters to resolve my past mistakes of poor boundaries. In July of that year, my partner attempted to slit her wrists in our kitchen and I had her placed in a rehab the following day. 10 days later, in an attempt to talk about our failing relationship, she threw me out of our home and I was never to return. The month was August -- the 8th month. In October of that year, I would attend an intro workshop and meet my soon-to-be healing teacher, entering this school in December of 2006.
I return to the #8 house in my dream. This house IS me, a representation of the assiyatic action I am taking in my life in the present. I am literally clearing away the wreckage of my past. There is beauty and splendor (Hod) in being solidly located in this -- hence, the shimmering in the rubble on the floors.
The symbol of Infinity, 8 on its side, is boundless; it is the cyclical nature of Life. It is the spiral of Chesed of Yesod, the rhythm of all Life that contains the nega, the oneg and the pause in between.
I am fully in it ... in the infinite movement of my Life path ...
Sunday, April 1, 2012
I have been on a blogging hiatus.
I have not, however, stopped writing in my head or in my heart or in the palm of my hand.
For 4 and a half precious hours this morning, I was engaged in form preciousness. Fully giving my attenion to each movement, activity, feeling and allowing each to be just as it is, including any anxiety or fear.
I sat in communion with God and my Dog this morning (a Divine anagram !). After lingering a bit in bed, I ground delicious coffee beans and made french press coffee. I talked for awhile to my sweetie, who made me laugh just being herself. I made breakfast and listened to a Tara Brach podcast. I did one of my non-dual practices for conflict. I changed sheets and washed my comforter. I did the dishes. I swept and dusted and mopped my entire apt -- giving each room my undivided attention. I walked the dog. Then walked myself and stopped to look at tulips and daffodils along my trek to pick up a variety of fresh produce. I took a steamy shower. I made lunch.
This is my IDEAL Sunday. Every sense stimulated while I luxuriated in every moment.
Everything that is allowed to exist, exists in light.