I have been working with the strategy of waiting for a form to take shape. It is showing up everywhere: in relation to a friendship that has shifted and moved in separate directions; in the area of not chasing people who may not be ready to show up; in my urgency to want to write and have something interesting to say and not wanting to make something up that is not authentic for me to pen.
This is a return to a recent mantra of "No job to do".
This morning, as I walked quite briskly with 2 full bags of produce and was whining to myself about how friggin cold it is and how heavy the bags were, I turned the corner to walk down my street and a woman was a few paces in front of me, walking with a liveliness in her step while toting two significantly larger bags than me! I marveled at her ease and her cheeriness, as I could hear her humming a tune in the distance. I picked up my own pace a bit to catch up with her and I remarked aloud: "You know, I am admiring how you seem to be negotiating these huge bags so easily. Just awhile ago, I was complaining to myself about lugging this produce and I'd love to know how you manage it!"
Without skipping a beat, she turned to me with a brimming smile and simply said:
"God got me".
And then, just as quickly, she took off to catch her bus and wished me a Merry Christmas.
I too walked with a livelier step after our paths crossed and could not stop repeating her phrase: "God got me".
Everything always boils down to this: when I forget God is with me, I complain or moan or feel self-pity or doubt or get scared and anxious or I lash out. Remembering that God is always with me, never has or will leave me, then I can find peace and serenity and love.
This was the form I patiently awaited to take shape and to write about. I am typing effortlessly. It feels right and true in this moment.
God got me.
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