In one of our non-dual healing practices, Impersonal Movement, there is a part of the practice that is called: "Making Space Solid". It is the place where we are experiencing the Impersonal Space of densities or threads in our Personal body.
When we're not present to this activity that is always here, it remains "unknown" until we do a practice such as this and make an intention to be awake and then it becomes more known, felt, even seen.
My current relationship exists primarily as a concept that is in "space" -- a phenomenon not so unlike the threads that come more into awareness when we become awake to them. When my eyes have opened more to this idea, I became aware that our relationship does not actually involve functioning as a couple in real time in a meaningful way. We have not made space solid. Our relationship is a conglomeration of threads that had been entwined, knotted, then floating quite separately and, occasionally, touch and intersect in lovingly connected ways. It's a rather galactic relationship with great vastness, shimmering spots amid the dark and not much visitation time spent on Earth.
My experience of this at the present time is that I have my feet on the ground with an invitation for her to do the same. She has been orbiting and hovering -- in and out of view. Sometimes, she is stuck, part of a stalled weather system that is behind a lot of clouds. We've occupied very different spaces.
I get glimpses of her travel patterns and have experienced her willingness to touch ground. She is still very much connected to her Mothership ... it is a huge vessel with a lot of wires and cables. It is familiar and daunting and it is the only home she's known. To leave it for very long is frightening and fills her with grief. I empathize with the pain and ache that comes with this.
So herein lies our relational dilemma: I am interested in making space soild. She, on the other hand, does not know if she can free herself of the Mothership and where she wants to land and with whom. I sense that she may be more comfortable as an astronaut while I am clearly the gardener.
So, I keep sowing seeds, pulling out weeds, and attending to what I've planted. My intention is to continue gardening and growing and blooming. I'd love the company in this patch of Life and I am aware that it may only be the view of her hanging out in mid-air ...
No comments:
Post a Comment