I have a new friend -- a friend and work colleague of healing classmates -- who has an inoperable brain tumor. I get posting notices almost every day from her online journal. She lives every single day to its fullest potential, celebrating nearly every moment, regardless of its seeming insignificance to the outside world.
i just read her recent post and she was rejoicing and shouting on the proverbial mountain top about the fact that she had her wig trimmed, got to see her kids off to school, and had extra time to spend with her husband.
I am taking notes and a getting a lesson here.
Do I wish for a brain tumor ... Oh Hell No ! Do I want to embrace every nugget of my Life and not let even the smallest things pass by --- YES! I want that.
Last night, I sat having a wonderful cup of coffee with a sponsee who is striving to let go of anger and irritation. She re-visits Steps 3-7 on a regular basis because her defects rear their cranky selves often. And, the great thing is she is catching herself earlier and making different choices in what she acts on. We laughed aloud at her foibles and her successes. And I want to be there, receiving her. We go on to an AA meeting and I am pleasantly surprised that yet another sponsee is there and she's the one sharing her story. Full of grace and free of shame. She embodied her sobriety and I was overcome with joy in having watched her struggle and fiercely resist this program and admitting she is an alcoholic. I sat next to a guy I adore and a woman I used to see at a meeting I no longer attend. I thought about how former Friday nights were spent alone and isolating and how I have a family and a home to go to anytime I need and want. As I arrived home, I got to spend a few minutes on the phone in connection with my sweetie and hear about her meeting and experience a shared gratitude for our individual recovery paths. And then I watched my Phillies in game 5 of the playoffs and unfortunately they couldn't pull out any runs to surpass the 1-0 lead held over them. The better team won. And I could embrace that too.
I can't assume I get another day on earth, so I better get good and awake loving this one.
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