Dyke Night @ the Shop Rite

who's she lookin at?
Originally uploaded by bbheart

On my way home from my favorite women's AA meeting on Thursday evenings, I often make a pit stop at the mother-of-all Shop Rites. I am likely to frequent this supermarket at least 3 of the 4 Thursdays each month. Never have I experienced the amount of lesbians per cubic foot in one enclosed space besides a Pride event than at the Shop Rite tonight ! This phenomenon, had I been given the honor to name it, would have been titled: "50 and Over Dyke Night Supermarket Extravaganza" .

Clearly I missed the flyer and email about this, as well I should being 2 years shy of the Big 5 -0. Perhaps this event was sponsored by the AARP ?

I am not exaggerating when I say that practically every other aisle of the Shop Rite was swarming with bumbledykes, let loose from the gay hive, buzzing about in search of the queenbee in hopes of tasting the sweet nectar, wink-wink ...

There were mostly single dykes and a few couples. I hate to indulge in type casting, but I can't help myself. There is something about this particular generation of lesbians ( thankfully I missed the cut off) and their lack of fashion sense. Let me paint the caricature from head to toe: cropped hair, primarily clipper cut sides and back; devoid of any jewelry, including earrings; warm weather: plaid short sleeve men's shirt/ cold weather: flannel shirt (Note: shirt is usually NOT tucked in); straight-leg, light blue denim jeans with a baggy ass, like Lee or Wrangler; sensible flat shoes or sneakers. Usually chubby. If in a couple: uncanningly looks and dresses like their other half.

A couple of these suave gay senior-ritas cruised me. Mostly in the produce section. I think it may have been the way I fondled the bananas and peaches as I placed them into my oversized plastic baggie. Purrrrrr.

It is my intention, as I proclaim this out loud to the Universe, that I do not succumb to the tragic decline in appearance when I cross that 50 year mark. I want to feel and exude sensuality. I want to still be considered "sexy" and "hot". I want to able to get away with wearing some hip items like low-waisted jeans. I want to embrace my salt and pepper hair yet have it styled and not look like I put a bowl on my head !

Dyke Night @ the Shop Rite. Can't say that I'd go back -- not much in the way of bargains or sales for the likes of this shopper !