The Transition to 1 ...

Meeting the pregnant princess of the forest
Originally uploaded by B℮n
I found myself with deep sadness this morning as I read a friend's posting to our healing community online. She describes the family's experience of her mother's end-stage Alzheimer's and the grief of moving her from the home she's shared with her husband for at least 6 decades to a nursing facility that can offer her the care she requires.

I could not put my finger on the connection to this scenario and the heaviness in my heart until I was walking my dog. What arose up was the fact that all of us, at some point, transition to 1 ... be it that we are moved to another place or our partner is or that we cross over 1st or our partner does OR that we move into old agedom without a companion. My friend and her brother will accompany their father in this process of moving her mother. I may do the same with my siblings. The aspect that really hit home, however, is that I am without children. There is no guarantee that I will have a partner in my upper years of Life. There is a great possibility, that I have not wanted to even take a glimpse at, I may spend my last days, months, even years on earth as a single unit. To really take that in is both sobering and sombering.

This current Reality of my friend's mother transported me to an unknown, future time. I recognize that having my energy go to somewhere I have not yet arrived takes me out of the exquisteness of the Present moment. I am also aware that this kind of worry and dread is unfounded; it has roots to my entry into this Life and a deep-seated fear of being alone. The real Truth is that when I am in relationship, conscious contact with God, I am never, ever on my own.

This now changes the title of my entry to: "The Transition to One" -- the place where there is no separation and no apartness.

My sadness has moved to the background for now.

I feel God's hand gently placed on my back...