Monday, July 4, 2011

Freedom Through Acceptance

Freedom by ♀Μøỳαл_Bгεлл♂
Freedom, a photo by ♀Μøỳαл_Bгεлл♂ on Flickr.
A very fitting reading this morning on Independence Day was from the book "As Bill Sees It' and the title of the passage is the same title as this post. I have read this before and always feel its powerful punch. My favorite lines are as follows:
"We neither ran nor fought. But accept we did. And then we began to be free."

This, for me, describes both the moment I could no longer take another drink and every moment after in which I have felt the utter defeat of my powerlessness over any thing.

My recent financial issues brought me to this place. No running and no fighting ... when you are out of self will run riot choices, then you have the choiceless choice to make ... surrender and accept. I just wrote about this yesterday ... being ill over this Holiday is not something I could run from or fight off. My body is on strike, period. So, lay down and kick off your sandals and accept that this is here for you in this moment. I did just that.

And then we began to be free. I appreciate the word "began" ... this is a practice that I must do every day. To begin to be free is to taste what that feels like so that I want to do it again. But, inevitably, I have my days of taking my will back. And then, it's back to the beginning. So why wouldn't I always want to be free ? My answer: I do. Just sometimes I think that getting there is about doing it my way ! There's the illusion. I'm not trusting God's plan when I am acting out in control mode. And, it's not True freedom when I've taken my will back ... it ends up leaving an uncomfortable ripple in my system that feels dishonest and inauthentic. That is my kavanah at work, which I am grateful for. A sort of internal alarm system to signal bad intentions !

The kind of freedom I have experienced when I can accept is something that is hard to quantify. It is a feeling like my entire system (mind, body, spirit) is relaxing into a calm serenity. There isn't room for an anxious thought or a resentment or a need to blame or to pity myself.

It is when I get to be just as I am and so do you and so does everything.

No comments:

Post a Comment