Curiosity Killed the Cat ...

Lady Lula's Bright Eyed Stare
Originally uploaded by Zulpha
Remember my post from Friday about "Replace Fear of the Unknown with Curiosity" ?

Fuck that.

Curiosity killed the cat.

I am wading neck deep in the unknown right now. Any ounce of curiosity I had or false sense of adventure is gone. I need night vision goggles ! It's blacker than black. How fitting for an entry made on Halloween night !

Here is what I am clear about:
1. I am powerless.
2. I need to believe in the God of my understanding to keep me sane.
3. I need to turn my will over to the care of God. Any time I try to take it back, I am spinning out of control and making myself nuts.
4. I need to repeat Steps 1-3 early and often.
5. The Serenity Prayer is my go-to tool, kind of like an Allen's wrench -- good for adjusting mostly anything.
6. Lastly, I will not drown or die from any of this.

Here is the part that really gets me. Imagine a person in your life who you love beyond anything. And you are totally aware that they are struggling with the fight of their life. And you cannot help them and they do not want your help because they need to walk this alone.
This requires total faith and trust in their process. And, that you have no option but to completely surrender and let go.

The sneaky, curious cat who persists in finding other ways to get something it wants does not always have 9 lives to borrow from. Sometimes it just goes splat.

This is a one moment, one step, one day at a time operation. I ain't snoopin around to figure a way out of this discomfort or darkness. I want to land on my paws and hold my head up to see the light that's promised on the other side of all of this. I have to trust that.