Back on the saddle again ...

The old bicycle and the field of wheat
Originally uploaded by Bern@t

When I was a young girl, the greatest sense of freedom and the closest I ever came to feeling like I was flying was when I was on my bike. I rode everywhere. Peddling as fast as I could go, I had the illusion of making the great escape -- from the prison that was the confines of my home. My most favorite time to be on my bike was at dusk on a summer night; this is when it would begin to get cool and the breeze as I coasted downhill felt so amazing. But, I had to beat the sun completely setting, because in the area I lived the bats came out right around that time. I was terrified of the notion that a bat could swoop down while I was riding and get tangled in my hair. It was a completely unfounded, irrational fear that I had for most of my biking career as a young person.

I have done very little biking in my adult life. When I was newly sober, I didn't have a car. I can remember purchasing a Schwinn 10 speed from a guy I worked with for dirt cheap and I would ride to do most everything, including intense hill workouts in the neighborhood just outside of mine. This was the early 90's and I had a walkman that played cassette tapes and I would make "Biking Mixes" to pump me up in order to keep up my stamina for the hilly terrain I would be out on. I was in amazing shape back then !

A friend in my Kabbalistic program recently gave me a mountain bike that was his oldest son's. This was coming from a family of guys, including my friend, who are avid cyclists -- the serious kind. I took it out today for my first trek. It is unseasonably warm for this time of year and a perfect day for a ride. As I climbed some of the old familiar hills of my late 20's, I felt the burn in my thighs like I never have before. Coupled with major huffing and puffing. Two decades makes a HUGE difference ! WOW. When I would tire of the hills, I'd find a side street to even out and rest up until the next hill. I loved when I could return and coast at top speed down the hills I had just ascended. Funny thing is this: that same exhilaration I experienced as a young girl was still attainable in my 47 plus year old self. Only this go-round, I did not have a need to escape, but rather a longing to be fully engaged in the aliveness of navigating the outdoors and moving my body.

I feel very fortunate that I have the ability to ride a bike and, more so, the desire to do it. It is incredibly free-ing and it puts me directly in the current of life. It allows me to explore neighborhoods and see sights that may be just a little too far to walk to and there is a camaraderie among other bikers -- friendly waves and nods -- as if we're cheering one another on to keep pedaling and moving. Being on the seat of a bike, wind blowing across my face, really makes me feel alive in my body and with nature in a way that walking does not quite fulfill.

Arriving back to my apartment after nearly 2 hours on the bike, I was literal Jello, from the waist down. Yet, it was a really good kind of exhaustion. Completely gratifying. Thank God for ibuprofen and a hot shower -- 2 things I never thought about as a girl who could spend an entire day cruising on her flower power banana seat 5 speed!

It's great to be back on the saddle again ...