Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Harvest of Our Labor


Working in a sea of green
Originally uploaded by B℮n

"Talk doesn't cook rice."
~ Chinese Proverb

In my alcoholism, I had unrealistic, far-fetched pipe dreams. I'd elaborate on my grand schemes while the only movement was the bottle to my lips, while they flapped empty words into the ethers. When I stopped drinking, my energy shifted and I became a workaholic. Lot of extra hours, complaining, martyring, and busying without producing a whole lot. It was just another "ism", minus the alcohol. "Look at all the time I'm putting in. I even come in on Saturdays ! I have no social life because of this job." As was shared with me yesterday, borrowed from an AA long-timer : ISM stands for: I, Self, Me.

Whether it was futile talk or selfishness in the guise of working hard, I was not truly "in service" to God or my fellows. I was not working any kind of program which taught me how to put principles into action. The last line of the AA "Promises" in the Big Book is: "They will always materialize if we work for them."

The harvest of our labor is not about how many hours we put on a timesheet or how many committees we're on or how fat our paycheck is or how many credentials we can tack behind our name. I am coming to understand that great things come to fruition that I never imagined possible if I do the simple steps of my recovery program and make the time to do the practices in my Kabbalistic healing school. I also am aware of this: abundance, in all forms, is the result of being true to myself, in integrity, using the God-given tools available to me. As a beloved fellow traveler of the rooms says: "Align oneself with source." This is what we ask in our 7th Step prayer, that we are granted strength to do God's bidding. We take daily inventory so that we are aware of our defects and isms that still creep up and we make prompt amends. And we do all of this, so that we are useful to others and that we can be in the service of God.

Teaching, for me, is not only a God-given gift, but it is also something that I have worked for -- from a place in me that genuinely wants to be in service to others, to be a vehicle for learning, to carry a message. The harvest of this labor cannot be measured in any material way. The value and the rewards that have been bestowed upon me for being in service as a teacher are vast and priceless. The smile on a student's face after taking the time to listen to them, help break down a complex concept, and see the lightbulb go off above their head is worth more to me than any monetary compensation. To get my unhealed ego out of the way and be human and honest in my interactions in the classroom, has brought me into intimate relationship with my students and has enabled me to model social work skills right on the spot. This is one of the reasons I get down on my knees in the morning and thank God -- because I get to do this and to be in service and aligned with my Creator.

Yesterday, I received an unexpected surprise,  a "dividend" so to speak, connected to this passion for teaching. I have been selected as an honoree for the National Social Work Society at the university where I am adjunct faculty.   This is a reward and a promise of working a recovery and healing program. This is the bountiful harvest of my labor, an accomplishment for which I am gratefully indebted to my lifetime employer, God.

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