Get Another Day ...

Spirit Warrior
Originally uploaded by ༺lifemage༻
Many wise folks in the rooms of recovery tout that "Time means shit."
The only thing that we have to be concerned about is that we "get another day". This is what the guys in my Tuesday night meeting often shout across the room after someone announces their anniversary.

I received news in a Big Book meeting last night about a member of our AA community who will not get another day. He had 17 years up until Sunday. He then decided to take his own life by putting a bullet through his head. Just 2 months ago, this very man shared in a Saturday morning meeting that he needed to tell the room that he was so angry and frustrated on his job that he bought a gun and that he didn't want to hurt anyone. As I shared this with a beloved person and fellow traveler of the rooms last evening, she validated how I and the rest of the meeting members that day had our first exposure to the violence that he would eventually turn on himself. It was startling for me and it reminded me about all of the time I was accumulating not drinking yet not going to meetings and wondering what I would have been capable of. All it takes is the flip of a switch in one's mind.

Each day is different than the one before or the one to follow. It is a reminder about truly living moment to moment, with an intention to be physically, mentally, and spiritually sober.

Yesterday, I had deeply connected conversations with several people in my life. I was moved by the meeting I attended. Today began completely differently. After a fitful, restless sleep, I was awokened by noisy machinery in the basement underneath me -- men beginning some kind of work at 7am. I was completely irritated. I decided to just "go with it" and get up to start my day. I forgot to pray or read my daily reflection and went straight into the shower. I got online to see my paystub from teaching the summer course I just finished and the difference between my gross and net pay is a thousand-fuckin dollars ! More irritation escalating to agitation. I paused. I stopped to have a chat with God while sitting on the toilet stewing. I felt better afterwards and it brought me into a place of gratitude and acceptance about "what is". Taxes are a necessary evil that, in this case, I cannot take my will back and try to maneuver or manipulate.

My mission going forward into the rest of this balmy Tuesday is to simply get another day ...