No member left behind ...

Fright Flight of the Snow Geese
Originally uploaded by Fort Photo

The marvel of how geese travel is the fact that their flight formation is such that when one goose trails behind, it is the sum total of the gaggle's wing power that can carry this member.

This also happens to be true in the AA community.

A woman in this morning's meeting shared how she loves the phrase in the rooms "Stay in the middle of the herd" , knowing that when she strays too far out on the periphery, such as not regularly making meetings or working her program, she is most susceptible to putting herself in harm's way. The lagging goose in the V-formation who's in need of help at least should be commended for making the effort to be with all the others on the flight. If we're not making meetings or talking with a sponsor or making an effort toward the steps of the program, we haven't even made it to lift-off. That's where I was for 16 years ... at ground zero. After deciding that I could do a solo flight and coast through the skyway of my life. After many a near crash-landing, it is a relief and pure joy to be flapping my recovery wings amid the other soaring beauties I meet time and time again in meetings.

The women's meeting I attended last evening was a prime example of how no members go unnoticed or unheard or unseen or in any other way, left behind. Sometimes this occurs in obvious acts of kindness or behind-the-scenes or in the "meeting after the meeting". I am often in awe when I can take a step back and clearly watch the power of the group in its exquisite unfolding to support a member who is in need of being lifted up. This happens when a member is in a raw place and is given the non-judging space to just "be" in her messy stuff. It is the keenly aware member who knows at first glance that another is not doing well and ensures to get a seat right next to her or even stepping outside to keep her company when it's too hard at the moment to be vulnerable in the group. It is the invisible yet powerfully felt group hug that embraces a member who courageously confesses to picking up a drink. Or the members who make sure that a newcomer has a list of names and numbers of plenty of women to call upon in early sobriety.

When we rely on the power of the group, we are really putting our trust and faith in God. And this enables each of us to do the part we can; some of us have larger, longer wingspans while others have sharp vision and others still with steady endurance. No one has to be completely in control or in the lead or do all the care-taking. This is what the "I am responsible ..." statement that is sometimes read after meetings is all about. It goes on to say ... "and I want the hand of AA to always be there..."

As I write about this, I am aware of the positive influence of the AA group conscience and consciousness on my daily living. I am a more present and committed worker and a more reliable, dedicated friend. I am no longer isolating. I take an interest in others not from the place of wanting to care-take but because I want to show up and be there. 2 women from last night's meeting drove a ways to attend this morning's meeting, as I was talking about it last night over pizza and invited them to come. After the meeting was over this morning, they asked if I would like to get a bite to eat. For about 2 brief seconds, my mind went to creating an excuse for why I couldn't go. And I caught myself. This was old behavior involving being protective of personal time, not having enough for me. I smiled in this recognition in the moment and graciously accepted the offer. The time spent was delightful, if not invaluable. One of these women just started coming back to meetings after an 8 year relapse and she is now just 2 weeks sober. The other, 4 years sober and new to the area and struggling with living in a new place and re-entering a new AA community. As I said goodbye to both of them, nearly 2 hrs later, I felt a warmth surge through me. It was about knowing the choice I made versus the choice I almost made today. It was about continuing to move my wings, even when I'm tired, and experiencing the joy of seeing my fellow travelers moving their own, as best as they can. It is also the awareness that someday, somewhere I am going to need the wingpower of others when I cannot do it alone. And it could very well be one of these women right next to me.