A sidewalk 12th step

I Need A Drink - Part 5
Originally uploaded by lucky_money_cat

A lovely sunny fall afternoon and I'm on a typical around the block walk with my dog. I'm heading down a street where I sometimes will make a turn into a small scenic alleyway. I notice a man walking toward us in the distance who appears to be angry, as he walks forcefully, hands buried in his pocket. He is African-American. This is important to note this because of my 1st stereotypical thought that breezes through my head: "Dangerous. Neighborhood thug. Turn up alley."  I'm aware very quickly that these thoughts are not based in fact but rather fear.  And I then have a counter-thought that comes from the place I wrote my blog entry last night about "making room for difference". I let my heart soften and open up and I proceed down the street toward him.

My dog, in all of her divine timing, decides to poop about 10 ft from him on the grass lining the sidewalk. This forces me to come to a halt and wait so she can finish her business. The man is now within 2 ft of us and I smile widely in his direction. He stops and asks: "Oh, what a cute dog, what kind is she?" And I tell him. And I then comment on his beautiful sweater and how it's the kind of day that's just perfect for wearing one. He thanks me and then inquires: "Do you always have such a big smile for everyone you meet?" And I honestly reply: "No, not always. You got me on a good day!" He then tells me that I'm the friendliest face he's seen today and how he's just had a huge fight with his boyfriend and decided he needed to leave. I said to him: "I'm sorry to hear that. And by the way, I'm 'family' " and he smiled knowingly back, an unspoken and understood code to acknowledge that we're both gay.

He then comments about how he needs to get a beer to calm himself down. And I take a breath and decide if I'm going to respond. I gently reply with: "I'm probably the wrong person to support you on that choice. I'm an alcoholic. I'd likely suggest getting a coffee." And he pauses and looks at me and asks: "How much time do you have?" And I reply: "19 years." And he gasps, as if in awe. And then says how he tells himself all the time that he needs to stop. And I say to him: "Maybe today's the day to start." And we are both silent for a little while, as he reaches down to pet my dog. He looks back up and says: "A latte sounds pretty good. I think I'll get one. Thank you." He tells me his name and I tell him mine and we shake hands and he says that he hopes we meet again and so do I and then we part our separate ways.

The 12th step is simply about the fact that,  having had a spiritual awakening ourselves, we can carry this message to other alcoholics. And to practice these principles in all of our affairs. I know that I was guided at that very moment to stay the course, to let my first thoughts pass by and to not retreat down the alleyway, but instead have this sidewalk encounter with this lovely soul. My heart was very full as I continued my walk. This was God's will, not mine.