Cultivating my Inner Fox

Fennec fox
Originally uploaded by floridapfe
Stealthy messenger of the gods,
Cunning and wise, reliable friend,
Guide my steps through this maze of deception
And see this problem to its end.

~ Anonymous quote on Fox Totem website


Yesterday afternoon, I had the pleasure of being read all about the Fox totem by a beloved woman in my life. I took in every word deeply.
Ever since my dream last week, I can't stop thinking about foxes. Particularly the one who is being birthed in me. Or perhaps has always lived here, dormant and patient, awaiting its landlord to wake up so she could actively engage in the fox hunt.

Of all the aspects of the fox totem that I heard, the ones that got my greatest attention were about camoflauge, shape-shifting and creation.

I am very aware that I have entered into a cycle of my life in which I no longer need to camoflauge and shape-shift, as I did for so many years, in order to survive what I deemed "unsafe" circumstances. I have been gearing up for the mother of all shape-shifts ... to remove every mask and false facade and deceitful trait so that I can become who I really am. My truest self. The one, as this beautiful soul reminded me yesterday, whose healthy shape-shifting can be an asset and a strength -- like adapting quickly in the classroom when the tone of the room has changed and requires a different approach.

I am aware in this moment that healthy shape-shifting also includes being able to more smoothly transition and adjust to the shifting shapes of others, of situations -- the very source of tremendous anxiety and fearfulness of my not-so-distant past. And that I can do this with the understanding that the changing shapes of others and of situations is not personal and does not necessarily mean I have to flee to the woods for safety. The only shifting I may need to do is subtle and deeply interior, rather than the overt and hypervigilant adjustments I've been accustomed to engaging in. Cultivating my inner fox will allow these adjustments to be unseen -- this perhaps is the healthier version of camoflauge !

Lastly, the aspect of creation. To birth something into the world is to offer new life. This fox energy, or "medicine" as it is referred to , is allowing me to be the one giving birth and the one being birthed simultaneously. This returns me to the Great Bear Mother piece. There is a line that goes: "The mother who watches out for her cubs, who essentially IS her cubs ... same fur, same blood ..." I am the mother and the cub. The lore is that foxes can take on human form. The cultivating of this inner fox is perhaps the canal for the true human me to come forth into the illumination of my life.

So I shall request outloud and deep inside, the profound statement from the above Fox totem quote: "Guide my steps through this maze of deception". This, for me, is a plea for Truth. Up to this point, the maze of deception was the smokescreen I constructed over the course of 4 plus decades and called it "my life". I hear the call of the fox and am ready to give birth and to be birthed into my True Self.