Behind the mask of innocence ...

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Originally uploaded by geewillikersjett
As I entered my Friday night Step meeting, I saw a woman around my age sitting with a boy, early teens. I made the assumption that he was here to support his mother, as it is not uncommon to see people come with their children. I was quite mistaken. It was the mom, who was here to support her son. I would find out later that he was 14, 2 days out of a 20 day rehab, for addiction to Oxycontin and alcohol. He barely had any facial hair and sat very close to his mother during the meeting, practically curled up on her lap. His foot would not stop tapping. Behind the mask of innocence, was a young man who found his way into this room because he was powerless over drugs and alcohol. Other than his chronological age, he was no different than any of us sitting in the chairs around him.

And, as many members stated, he was the most important person in the room.

Several older guys remarked about the fact that they weren't willing to acknowledge their powerlessness over alcohol and drugs until much later in life after they hit multiple bottoms (the majority in their 50's) and how amazing it was to see a young man trying to nip this disease in the bud at such an early stage. One guy tearfully shared how a 25 year addiction to cocaine and Percocet had robbed him of an existence. The most poignant sharing, however, was an older woman who didn't come into the rooms of AA until she was 68. She looked directly at this boy and his mother and very tenderly spoke to him. She said that someone who loved her dearly accompanied her into AA and how important it was to know that she was loved and cared for enough that another human being would take the time to do that for her. And how this young man was so lucky to have his mother support him. And how she wished that she could've gotten the lesson early in life and what a gift it was to witness this young man in front of her. She related to his nervousness and his inability to sit still; she told him to be patient with this, that eventually it would pass, just like how the obsession would be lifted. Lastly, she told him how hard it was to hear anything when she first came into AA after going to rehab herself and to just have faith that all of what is being said -- "the seeds being planted" -- will eventually take hold inside, grow roots, and then blossom. It was an absolutely beautiful moment between them -- many generations apart yet deeply in connection.

During the break, I introduced myself to this young man and his mother. I told him about what I was teaching this semester and how I showed my students a DVD just last night of a teenage boy just a little bit older than he who made a documentary about becoming addicted at such a young age and nearly committing suicide as a result. And how this teenager made the film with his father so that he could carry the message to other teenagers who might be experiencing the same struggle.  I thanked him for having the courage to take these steps and that by walking them,  he would be helping many other young people in the process.  I offered some information about beginners meetings and young people's meetings, so that he might find peers in the AA community to talk to.  He was barely able to make eye contact, absolutely trembling the entire time, reaching out to hold his mother's hand periodically. It was both heart-wrenching and exquisitely tender. He may very well be one of the lucky ones that God has more important things in store for while here on this earth plane.

Sitting across from this young man reminded me that I too was young when alcohol took ahold of me. And that behind the mask of innocence was a disaster in the making. And it wasn't long before the innocence disappeared and a hard-hearted, dishonest, thieving, manipulative, promiscuous woman took over for the next decade. I was just like him -- terrified, scared, wanting my mother or father's hand to hold and know that I would be okay and safe. That wasn't to be my story and, by the grace of God, I found my way to AA in spite of everything.  I shall not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

My greatest wish and prayer for this young man is that he still gets to experience being a young man.

May God hold him closely and tightly and tenderly.