The Kindness of Suffering

Sunrise Reflection (4+4 in 6x6)
Originally uploaded by NaPix -- Hmong Soul
After receiving the news of our teacher Jason's diagnosis and our community coming together to hold him during this time, I have dropped in more to the awakening that is possible in the face of suffering.

Ever so timely, I turn yesterday afternoon to the passage in Jason's book about this very subject. I have read it multiple times since. The opening "seed" statement goes like this:
"Awakening is the moment we become completely human, no longer suffering needlessly and no longer fighting the suffering we must do -- and knowing the difference."
Interestingly enough, this has every piece of the Serenity Prayer contained within it.

Jason walks his talk, embodying and living his words, in his truth.

To suffer needlessly is to wallow in it, seeking attention from a place of self-pity, resistance, unable to accept life on life's terms. To no longer fight the suffering we must do is to make peace with it, to accept what is here, to trust God's unfolding plan for us. The wisdom, Tiferet (wise sage) that we can access by listening and trusting our inner God-voice is what helps us to gain balance in our relationship to suffering. This is my take-away message from the opening of this passage.

And, just as impactful as the beginning lines are, the ending paragraph resonates deeply: "When you can do this [have a different relationship to suffering], your suffering will help you increase your degree of kindness and forgiveness toward yourself. You will also be kinder to your brothers and sisters who walk this planet in the glory and difficulty of being human. When you do these things, you are truly awakened."

There was a moment at the end of our training on Sunday when my beloved classmate, my love, was filled up and welled up with these tears of kindness and tenderness toward our teacher. She felt the glory and the difficulty of his humanness before he ever disclosed that he had cancer. She was, in this moment, awake to his awakeness. This was incredible to witness.

After sitting in prayer for Jason and significant others last night and this morning along with the many members of our group doing the same around the globe, I could feel my own tender heartedness touching suffering, both personally and impersonally. This was ever present in an interaction I had this morning with a good friend who asked me to meet her to talk for awhile. She too is in the midst of suffering - of a different variation. She experienced a traumatic event, a personal violation of her body, last week. She is feeling the conflict of reporting her violator and wanting to have safety and peace for herself and her partner. While we talked, I was filled with love and incredible kindness toward her. It was not from a care-taking place, but rather an authentic, kind place of relating to her in this suffering. She felt this too and remarked about it: "My friend is really here. I feel how much you care about and love me and honor whatever decision I make about this situation." This was the absolute truth. I had no personal agenda or vendetta for her violator; in fact, I have included him in my prayers, which is the hardest thing I've ever done.

From a person who lived the majority of her life in "Woe is me", it is such freedom from bondage to experience this. There is exquisite kindness for myself and for those I love in this place of suffering.