Climbing Mt. Everest

An ocean of clouds
Originally uploaded by ···Skazi••

Tonight I experienced a "homecoming" of sorts ... after a 3 month or so absence from a former Big Book mtg (mostly due to the fact that it starts at the time when I am sometimes just getting back from seeing clients) I was greeted so warmly and affectionately, like a long-distance relative that the family hasn't seen in awhile. This is a quality I love about AA and still can be baffled that I couldn't and wouldn't see this as being possible when I first came into AA.

I, along with a number of members of my favorite Tuesday night meeting, were here to support a beloved member of our group who was the featured speaker. This Big Book meeting has adopted the "California style" format: podium with microphone; an hour and a half; guest speaker each week chairs and reads a favorite passage from the Big Book then chooses people from the group to come up and share about it. There is something about this that reminds me about self will; you don't get to control or decide if you're going to speak at this meeting -- you are powerless and, if you're called upon, then it is in the plan of the Higher Power that you are chosen to share your message.

2 small passages were chosen by our speaker tonight and are as follows:
P. 60: "We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines."
P. 568: "We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable."

The "theme" of his message, based on these statements above, was about the spiritual part of how we work our program. He called it: "Spiritual Fitness". He compared how we "exercise" our recovery spirituality to an actual workout at the gym. And how it is sometimes hard to get motivated, how we can get lax and lazy, and yet, once we do it, we are always amazed at how GOOD we feel after ! It's so true ! Along the lines of this metaphor, he shared about how he knows when he's spiritually "out of shape" because he reverts back to easier, softer ways of dealing with things -- like avoiding or getting lost in TV or not initiating a needed conversation or a 10th Step amends. And that when he is in this kind of shape, he really feels stretched, weighted down, restless, irritable, quick to react, not having a strong set of recovery "muscles".

One of the best shares tonight after the speaker was done, came from a long-timer -- someone I adore -- who has 27 years sober. He told us that when he first came to AA, he viewed being able to stop drinking akin to "climbing Mt. Everest" -- a feat that seemed virtually impossible and much too massive to even tackle. His sponsor told him this: "You can climb what you believe to be the Mt. Everest of recovery quite easily and simply. All you have to do is follow the footsteps on the path of the person who walked before you. That's it." The room took a collective deep breath in and a long one out taking in the power of his message.

My selfish and distorted thinking when I first got sober had me believe that I didn't need to follow any of "these people" and that with my self-will in toe, I could easily climb the mountain of recovery. I was not willing to grow, however, along spiritual lines. No letting anyone hold the ropes for me, while I ascended or just in case I might fall -- oh no, I got this and I can do this on my own. Several years later, I strayed from the path and lost my way. And then my sense of direction. I was making circles round the mountain and going nowhere. Willingness, honesty, and open-mindedness were all within reach to help me have a smoother climb and I tossed them aside, as seemingly useless tools. My next decade and more would find me having slid back down the mountain, bruised and cut, and ignoring the injuries, denying they actually existed. I would forget climbing Mt. Everest and take on the label of being a "recovered" person, past tense, no need to make that trek again. Or so I thought ...

Today, a full year and almost 2 months making great headway on the climb, I have followed those footsteps carefully, rarely veering off the spiritual path. Those AA hikers that have come before me have blazed a surefire trail that has provided good direction. And the really cool thing is this: there will be dozens of others who will follow in mine.

What touched me so much tonight was the fact that there were 2 people present who just had 24 hours sober. And both shared that they didn't think they were ready to stop drinking just yet. And we gently invited each of them to "keep coming back". Offering this message feels like the rope given to the climbers further below on the mountain, thrown down by others who have solid footing and who can keep the rope steady and always available if someone feels like they may slip.

I will pray for these two souls tonight before I go to bed. That even if they don't decide to climb Mt. Everest, that perhaps they will know there are steps to follow along the path made by fellow travelers and a line to grasp along the side of the mountain, should they have doubts about making the journey.