Uncoiling the Heart ...

Ol' Blue Eyes
Originally uploaded by vgm8383
"Now is the time for you to tell me.
Now is the moment for you to unfold.
God has now found a vessel that is sanctified enough
so that a holy life can be lived.
You will begin to disappear so that a new you can be born."
~ Jason Shulman, from the Impersonal Movement I Manual

The last practice that was taught in my Impersonal Movement training this weekend was called: "Uncoiling the Heart." It involves a downward movement of consciousness to be seated in the Heart, being able to hold the world in its duality, so that we may begin the final part of our journey.

Our teacher, Jason, has a negun that he taught us in the first year of the Kabbalistic healing program that feels like it is related to this process:
Unlock my heart, Oh God
Unlock my mind.
Unlock my spirit too
I give it all to you.

This practice involves a descent into viewing the essence and the messages incarnated in all beings, resulting in the suffering of the world, without it being personal, without any feelings of self-hatred or deprecation of any kind being present.

Interestingly enough, the personal heart experience of suffering entered our healing space at the end of this practice. Perhaps it was Divine timing that we should be given this opportunity to hold duality. Our teacher Jason announced to us at the end of the training that he would be having surgery next week for bladder cancer. From a place of tenderness, humility and grace, he asked for our prayers and for the community to hold him through this process.

To be "in the Heart center" of this was, however, a place of non-duality. There was an outpouring of tears among the members of our class from a place of fear/worry and from a place of love/caring. Sadness about this news was paired with joyful singing as the group circled our teacher. A classmate offered a deeply sacred blessing, the words of which seemed to flow directly from both his heart and the heart of the group and the heart of God.

Part of the human condition is that there will be suffering. A spiritual teacher is not immuned from this and it was so important that he allowed each of us to witness his vulnerability, his humanness. Our community watched another teacher a couple years ago, who appeared to be the picture of health, die very quickly from an aggressive cancer. Simultaneously, we have had several classmates survive and thrive after breast cancer and other illnesses. The most significant piece in all of these occurrences, however, is not about whether or not death resulted, because the Truth held for all of us is that we will eventually die; instead, the significance in our individual journeys lies in our choice to be with the Reality of Life. Can we hold our being scared with acceptance ?  Our fear of mortality with faith in the Infinite ?  
Or, as the woman I love so bravely and poignantly shared during class this weekend about the fact that she can now hold her craziness along with her sanity, which actually makes her more sane. In response to her sharing, our teacher Jason offered this very fitting quote from the Buddha's Heart Sutras:

"A buddha is greatly enlightened about their delusions.
An ordinary person is greatly deluded about their enlightenment."

In the presence of our classroom, there were a sea of buddhas, quite enlightened about their delusions. I think perhaps this is what has drawn us together for this part of the walk on our spiritual paths.

May each of us have the willingness and the courage to uncoil the Heart so that we may be born anew.

May our teacher, Jason, be held in the vibrantly beating,  Life-giving center of this Heart.

Amen.