Sweet Surrender ...

Alien Tentacled Thing aka Passion Fruit Flower
Originally uploaded by AnnuskA - AnnA Theodora
As I pondered the subject of surrender and began my search for photos to capture the essence of what I wanted to write about, this incredible flower caught my eye. Upon very close examination, you can see bees feasting on the glorious nectar within the inner layers. This flower has opened her petals up, surrendering the sweetness inside of her, so that the bees may thrive from her nutrients. A flower does not know to be afraid of the possibility of the bees stinging her;  she freely surrenders because this is part of what she was born to do, God's intention for her.

I looked at this photo for a long time this morning. Nature provides us such profound teachings, provided we are open and willing to receive the lessons.

The subject of surrender was on my radar today because of a couple occurrences, minor really, in my life that I am turning over and need to let go:
- My hair is changing. No, I'm not going bald ! The texture has gotten softer and finer. The length I was previously wearing my hair no longer could hold its shape over the past couple of weeks. So I went to my stylist yesterday for support. Not to "fix" the issue, but rather to offer me a style to accomodate "what is" . So my hair is shorter than I'd been wearing it and yet it feels so good because this style feels effortless and I have a deeper acceptance that perhaps this is just what happens because I am getting older and I am entering peri-menopause.
- My Kabbalistic retreat is this weekend. I like feeling energized and healthy in my body, mind and spirit when I have one of these weekends. The beginning signs of the arrival of my menstrual cycle are here: bloating; fatigue; cramps; headache. Attempting to fight them or wish them away or struggle is about self-will and not God's will. It's also about denying the course of nature. The flower here has inspired me so much. The inevitable bleeding and movement within my reproductive system is what I was born to do as a woman. I need to let my petals open, so to speak, and let Nature take her course, surrendering to the tenderness of my body, doing what it is supposed to do, trusting the timing and my ability to be with the discomfort and pain, understanding it is a cycle that will pass and eventually end.

I sat for long time this morning on my meditation pillow. I only said: "God" and then nothing came. I understood that these things I've written about were on my mind, fodder for my unhealed ego. I just sat and listened in the stillness. Praying, for me, is being in relationship with God; I do an awful lot of chattering on most mornings and evenings, so I decided to just keep my mouth shut and my ears wide open.

The only thing I heard was: "Surrender".