Thursday, November 26, 2009

An attitude of gratitude ...


helping hand
Originally uploaded by RRG Photography

"Thank you G-d for this day.
Let there be another if it be your will.
Hear me G-d when I say,
I give my body and soul to you."
~ Jason Shulman

Yesterday, I facilitated a "Gratitude Group" with the folks at one of the agencies I'm contracted with and the level of depth of their gratefulness, particularly because they all have a developmental disability, really touched me and blew me away. One quiet young woman in my group said simply that she was thankful to be "alive". Many of the individuals were thankful to have a place to sleep, to be going somewhere to have a Thanksgiving meal. Others were thankful for family and friends in their lives. One woman who struggles with the fact that her mother has been in and out of drug rehabs and her father's been absent is now thankful that, in her words, "my parents are trying to be the mom and dad they should be to me." Whoa. Everyone clapped after she shared that. Several individuals, who have a tendency to seek attention and become overly dramatic, tried to speak about what they didn't have and you could see one gentleman "turn on the tears". At this point in the sharing, remembering my own "Woe is me" and selfish past behavior, I said to him: "It's really easy to get trapped into a pity party for ourselves and only be able to see what we don't have. Can you see if you can think of something you have right now that makes you happy?" The tears stopped and he looked up and said: "I'm happy I can come here and get a paycheck." And members cheered him on. And then he proceeded to say at least 5 other things he was thankful for. It reminded me of how often it is said in AA meetings that, in any given moment, we can "turn things around". Here it was in its shiniest form at work. Just being present and witnessing this group was what I was most thankful for.

Awaking on this Thanksgiving morning, I was aware of 2 distinct things: 1) I have sadness and longing in the background re: missing the love of my life and, 2) I have deep gratitude that surpasses what is in the background of me for ALL that I have, which is an absolute abundance of things, some of which are not tangible nor can be measured.

I said my prayers this morning to thank G-d for what I have been given. I also did my loving-kindness meditations, which includes the people we love, acquaintences, and even our enemies. It involves wishing for everyone what you wish for yourself. That has been opening my heart more and more.

I am thankful, first and foremost, for being given the opportunity to be here, at this time, on earth. For my sobriety, 1 day at a time. For my faith in the Universe and the willingness to build a relationship with G-d. For my breath and my heart beating and having my health. For the gift of knowing love ... that I can love and I am loved. For every relationship that has meaning and that has taught me something. For patience. For being willing to understand my defects of character. For warm shelter and a comfortable, beautiful space to live. For the opportunities to serve, to teach, to learn, to grow. For every ounce of nature and the ability to see its beauty everyday. For nourishment of every kind. For serenity. For courage. For understanding. For wisdom.

To just type these things and say them aloud has already lifted the sadness in the background and has transformed it into a gift, an opportunity to heal in the foreground.

Thank you G-d for this day ...

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