Expanding My Container ...

why do all good things come to an end
Originally uploaded by carrielynn.
In our healing school, a term that is taught early on is "container", coupled with another term, "bandwidth". It has to do with our capacity, within our being, to hold all that is here, that we meet, in Life. Our container expands as we heal from the inside-out.

In re-reading a chapter in Sharon Salzberg's book, "Faith", she too talks about this container in relationship to faith and fear. She says: " As our faith deepens, the 'container' in which fear arises gets bigger. Like a teaspoonful of salt placed in a pond full of fresh water rather than in a narrow glass, if our measure of fear is arising in an open, vast space of heart, we will not shut down around it. We may still recognize it as fear, we may still quake inside, but it will not break our spirit."

I had the blessing yesterday to have several honest and container-expanding conversations with someone I love. We were each able to show up, ready to fully meet what was here between us. My healer's infamous quote applies: "True intimacy is freedom." There was freedom to say and name what was true for each of us and, in that spaciousness, there was deep intimacy. I am learning that when I have healed my historical wounds and have dropped the old stories, my container doubles, perhaps triples in size. What could burst it years ago, with little effort, can now enter in and be barely noticeable. And, there is that much more that I am now able to hold and not have it be personal. My sensitivity previously, with a much smaller container, found me being offended and hurt rather easily. It is such a relief to not experience the contractedness of my former container.

I also have this observation: as I heal and my container expands, my capacity for compassion also expands. I can hold both my own reactions AND understand, with empathy, the place where the other person is struggling or suffering or in pain. I don't have to experience their pain as mine but rather I can hold my compassion for myself, for the other and what they are going through in this container. Perhaps the lines in the Prayer of St. Francis are also referring to the container in this way. Asking God to be a channel for peace, for love, for the ability to understand and so forth ... in essence, we are asking first for God's help in growing this container within ourselves to be in service to others.

God, may I have the capacity within me to hold all of what and who I meet today. With your help and my own trustworthiness, I will continue expanding my container.