Friday, May 21, 2010

It always comes back to the first Step ...


My Way
Originally uploaded by Ben Heine

Step 1 is the admission of powerlessness and that our lives have become unmanageable.

This was the Step we read at tonight's meeting and it is exactly what I needed to hear.

One member reminded us that we don't really "get" the significance of this Step until we realize that it is about a permanent surrender. First and foremost, the recognition of the fatality of alcoholism. After that, it's simply about the fact that we are powerless over everything and everyone. Another member humorously quipped that: "The only thing we are to exercise any control over is when something affects our breathing -- other than that, it's none of our business."

I find myself returning to this first Step on a pretty regular basis; I get now why this is so -- I was only surrendering temporarily. Each time a life circumstance or another's actions arises and I find myself wanting to control the outcome or the behavior in some way, I am catapulted back to the first Step. To permanently surrender is to truly accept my powerlessness on the grand scale, in all my affairs.
The magnitude of this is halting. Absolutely sobering.

In order for me to do this, I realize that it then becomes a 3rd Step and a 7th Step practice. No wonder there is so much emphasis on these additional Steps ! And specific prayers to boot !

Smack me upside the head with an AA 2 x 4 !

It always, always comes back to the first Step ...

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