Finding the opening ...

Doors Open Denver
Originally uploaded by feelsheavy
The opening lines to Step 3 are very powerful. I read this a number of days ago before embarking on the healing work related to my little one and my mother. I feel like it is working me. It begins like this:
"Practicing Step 3 is like the opening of a door which to all appearances is still closed and locked. All we need is a key and a decision to swing the door open. There is only one key and it is called willingness."

I had an exquisite dream last night. At another time in my life, I would've called it a nightmare. I understood exactly what was happening. It was almost as if G-d had scooped me up during the night and showed me in the most vivid way how to practice Step 3. It also felt like I was being given divine guidance about where I am in my life, in my healing work and that I will know how to find the opening to that proverbial door.

In the dream, I am in absolute, pitch-black darkness. It is a cave of enormous proportions. I have no idea where it begins and ends. I am on a ledge in the cave, because I can feel my feet. I have a "feeling" as I stand in the utter darkness that I am being held and will know the next right action that will lead me out of the cave. I also am aware that I have no idea how high up I am or how far down the cave drops to its floor or if there is even a floor. So, I wait. I can feel my heart's resounding thumping against my chest walls while I am in the dream. My breath begins to increase in its pace and intensity. And then, I take a literal leap of faith. And I land on something solid and just above me there is a small opening of light, like a portal. I think briefly in the dream that it seems impossible that I will be able to exit through that small opening. And again, I wait. I am being guided that I can do this. I look up at the opening and I feel the light on my face, nearly blinding. I raise my arms straight up, pulled tightly next to either side of my face. And I close my eyes and jump toward the opening. And I am pulled through with a force that is unexplainable. And this is where the dream ends.

In my prayers this morning, I have a profound sense of awe and intimacy with G-d. I give thanks for the "vision" that I was given in this dream. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I was provided with instruction for  practicing Step 3 AND given an opportunity to see and feel what it is like to completely turn my will over to G-d and to have faith that I will be taken care of. That all it takes is deep trust, having a "knowing" within that to take the next step, whatever that looks like, and I will be guided and propelled forward.  To wait patiently in a place of unknown,  behind the seemingly closed door,   is the gateway to finding the opening.  The key is indeed willingness.