Gratitude is an Action

dancing with faeries
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In the span of just 5 days, I have been generously given 2 incredible books -- both of which I have had a desire to read and did not obtain for myself. One is "Living Sober", an AA publication, and the other is "The Instruction Manual for Receiving God" by the founder of my Kabbalistic program, Jason Shulman. I am so struck by the fact that my blog is about the marriage between AA and Kabbalistic healing and here are these perfect bookends. And, that I should be given these books by people who care about and love me AND who have reaped the benefits of using these books.

I have had the Living Sober book on my kitchen table, reading a segment from it each morning as I wait for my coffee to brew. At my AA meeting this evening, the chairperson has chosen a reading from this very book ! And, it was one I had not yet read, so it sparked even more interest. It was a chapter on being grateful. The discussion that ensued tonight was the fact that gratitude is an action ... that it is something you consciously work on as part of the program. And, what struck me is that the titles of both of these books I have mentioned contain action words: LIVING sober; RECEIVING God. These are not things that are handed to me or "just happen", but rather these are actions I can choose to take as a way to recover, to heal, to be awake, to be present, to be more in my life. "To be" is an action, in and of itself. It is the choice to bring presence to your mere existence and the choice to not have to do anything else about that but simply to show up.

In "Receiving God", Jason offers a simple yet profound action to take in terms of how to use the book: "It starts with you. It starts with you becoming ready to receive God in your own life ..." This is also the message of AA, especially throughout the steps. "Willingness is the key". Willingness is also an action. That is what Jason is asking the reader to do -- become willing to receive God. That is what Bill W. and Dr. Bob ask alcoholics to do too -- becoming willing to believe in a power greater than ourselves and to turn our will over to God, as we understand God.

In my alcoholism and in my dry drunk period, I was asleep to life. It felt too painful to really be fully awake to it. I was passive and often I awaited for things to happen or I perceived that things happened to me and then I would take an action from a place of REaction. What Kabbalistic healing and AA have given me is a purpose to move and to experience and to be awake to life. That I am an active participant in my life. And from that place, I can make choices to respond or not respond, rather than react. To know that when I surrender and let go of my will, that I can place my difficulty in God's hands, to just be held, or carried, or even removed. All of these things are actions.

For me, to be grateful is to acknowledge the goodness and the preciousness in what is here in my life. Even when it feels unpleasant or unkind or too hard or too painful. In fact, I randomly selected a passage from Jason's book today and one of the sentences in the opening of it says: "We simply need to know how to surrender to whatever God gives us, like manna, each day."

Getting on my knees.
Thanking God for another day sober and asking how I can serve.
Expressing joy for being alive.
Appreciating the beauty and the goodness of myself and others.

This is gratitude in action.