Undressing in the service of truth ...

various stages of undress
Originally uploaded by Darwin Bell
In 2 different passages I read over these last couple of days from my teacher Jason's book, there is this beautiful link: In one passage, "learning about and embracing our limitations is the gateway to true greatness ... it is a sort of undressing in the service of truth ..." AND, in the other passage: "When we are consciously , personally aware of who we are - flaws and all, greatness and all -- we hear God calling."

So, it begins with learning about and embracing our limitations as the gateway, getting naked to be in the "truth" of ourselves, and then, taking those pieces into account and the greatness we've discovered, we are able to hear God's calling.

We are being asked, quite simply, to be who we are. No holds barred. Everything included, nothing left out, no stone unturned.

My blog since last August feels like it has been the medium for this work. It is, essentially, a journey of learning about and embracing my limitations, seeing the contrast between the "who was" and the "who is" and how the space between those "who's" can be decades, a few years, months or even a couple of days. Which then leaves me curious and asking this question: "If I feel like I am being who I really am today, in this present moment, having done this work, won't the "who" still keep changing as I continue to learn and grow?" And so, perhaps, being who we are is ACTIVE and ALIVE ... that it isn't an arrival or a landing. That feels pretty right on.
Interestingly enough, the photo I chose for this post is titled: "Various stages of undress" ... seems to fit and describe what I am pondering right here.

And also, if we come to this place of knowing ourselves -- all the imperfections and all the shimmeriness -- and hear God's calling, then perhaps this is also a gateway of sorts to continually be in conversation and relationship with God. I believe that the "calling" is the invitation and everything after that is all about the on-going relationship with God. It's like in AA, when we take Step 2, we first come to "believe" in a power greater than ourselves, having had a spiritual awakening to bring us to this place -- the "calling". And then, as we work the steps, we deepen that relationship and by the time we arrive at Step 11, we are seeking through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God.

I shared with someone I love deeply yesterday that when I express anger, like I did in a post a couple of days ago, it is my version of undress and nakedness. There's a turbulent wave in my interior to have that aspect of me revealed. It goes back to an old myth I've held: "Quan Yin doesn't get angry." It's about a distorted belief I have for myself that being compassionate does not include anger AND,  to see my anger is to see my ugliness. And, if you see my ugliness, then you will walk away, leave, reject and not love me. Some of this is an old story and yet, there are a few pages that are still open and kept alive when I subscribe to this belief. I am very grateful to have this be in my awareness and, as Jason points out, to learn about it and embrace it. At the close of that angry post, in which I uncovered that it was really a protective armour for the fear of no control, I was actually in a place of being really "in control" in the interior of my being. And that, I would say, was a gateway to greatness.

This undressing business is sometimes really NOT sexy. I want to cover up in many layers of hiddenness so that the dimples and wrinkles and cellulite of my true self cannot be perused or gawked at or possibly judged. I think that's part of the human condition and conditioning. What softens me and what allows the fear of being naked to fizzle out is the fact that it IS part of being human and that my fellow travelers and souls on this path are also fearful about being unclothed and having their own ugly, messy parts revealed and viewed.

There is great comfort for me to be part of this spiritual nudist colony on the path to our true greatness and in relationship with God.

Let's get naked !