In response to willingness ...

LET US ALL PRAY....
Originally uploaded by _ØяAcLә_
Before I went to bed last night and when I rose this morning, I was aware that a chest cold of some sort is underground, brewing. I woke up today with the chills. In my prayers, I asked G-d for strength to be able to facilitate a day long workshop today and for extra support if I am struggling. I turned over my will and asked G-d to show me what the plan was for me today. I also did my Buddhist tonglens, asking to be free of suffering for myself, for select people in my life, for neutral people, for those who oppose me, and then for every living being. I was entering this day, even though not feeling in my best self, having a willingness to be of service to my fellow beings.

As I got in my car to begin my commute to the workshop, my cell phone rang. The call was from the agency where the workshop was to be held. They had to cancel, as they had a conflict and forgot to notify me sooner. I was informed that because of this inconvenience, I would be able to bill them for the total amount of the training fee. I turned my car around and thanked G-d out loud for this unexpected gift.

I feel like what transpired this morning was in response to just having willingness. It is not about getting over or getting out of something, but rather it is about getting exactly what I needed today. My intention was to be in service in the best way possible, including my underlying cold symptoms. A number of years back, I would've made the impending cold the "thing" and I would've likely canceled the training, never having a conversation with G-d about the support I would need OR I would've created a made-up excuse for why I couldn't do the training and then scrambled to see if I could re-schedule it really quickly so I didn't lose out on the money but could duck out on having to "show up" for work today,  but instead take the stage elsewhere -- an actor starring in the drama of sickness.

I returned to my knees when I got back in my apartment this morning. I am deeply grateful to have this opportunity to take it slow and easy and rest if I need to.  I am planning to practice using this statistical software program that has been intimidating me for the past bunch of weeks, which I will eventually need to demonstrate with my students.   There is also a fantastic Dan Brown novel awaiting me,  The Lost Symbol,  which was given to me by my sponsor and I began with great enthusiasm last night.

Today, I have been given a gift to be in service to myself, so that I can be in even better service to others in the coming days, weeks. I will not take this for granted.

Thank you, G-d/Universe for your kind response to my willingness.