When it all turns to slush ...

Slush!
Originally uploaded by opobs

The neighborly winter coziness of yesterday all went to literal and figurative slush today outside my urban nevernever land.

I decided I'd like to go for a swim before seeing a 4p therapy client. Off I go in my car, navigating the horrid road conditions of my area. I am letting myself see what many black folk have shared with me over the years about the inequities of community care in the city compared to the burbs. It is painfully true. Not a single road in my area has had a plow touch it. The melting power of the sun, thankfully, made some areas more passable today than yesterday.
On my way, I see cars speeding and slipping through slush-filled puddles, splashing folks waiting at bus stops. Other cars are parking in any fashion they see fit, creating barriers on some streets. When I pull into the gym's parking lot, it is a disaster zone. Someone is going the wrong way toward me and then backs into the spot rather than going around the 1-way only clockwise fashion that is the norm for this lot. I find a spot on the other side and make my way in. I get down to the pool and it is a bit crowded. I peek in and see someone exiting a lane and ask if it would be ok for me to grab that. A guy spralled out in the hot tub leaps up and screams: "I've been waiting for that lane ! It's gonna be awhile til something's open, miss !" I wanna punch his lights out from my inside and on the outside, I manage to keep a neutral face, exit the pool area calmly, and leave. Not the battle I need to have today.

I decide I'll go to my client earlier. I am navigating really treacherous roads to make my way to the main highway. As I plod along on one particular cobblestone street that is very slippery and narrower than usual because of all the snow, a transit bus is in the oncoming lane. Going very fast and the driver is quite aggressive. One car tries to pull off and slides. The bus is coming dangerously close to me and I realize it's going to possibly sideswipe me and I inch over and in the process, take out my passenger side mirror and damage a parked car's mirror. The owner of the parked car comes flying out of a store nearby and we realize we know each other from an agency we both do work at ! She says: "Thank God it's you!" And her friend gets the bus number and we both agree we'll call their complaint dept and report this driver. That encounter was a divine intervention amid utter chaos.

I continue on my way. I can feel the turbulence building inside of me. When I let myself come out of the anger trance, I consciously take breaths. And just as quickly, I am back to fuming. I finally re-gain my composure when I arrive to my client's home.

I just wrote in my post yesterday how a snow storm can bring out the best in us or the worst in us. I got to experience the positive "oneg" side yesterday amongst my neighbors and today, I balanced it out with the negative, "nega" side. The nesting of opposites. Neighborliness/un-neighborliness. Both need each other to exist.

I will venture out now once more, as I make my way to the local Fri night AA meeting. I am open now to whatever comes. Perhaps it will be stillness and pausing and a "3rd thing" arising to meet me.

I shall greet the mysterious with my boots on !