Real Love ...

Tender Love and Care
Originally uploaded by Araleya

I am humbled and far softer in this moment after my tyrade yesterday about road conditions and Valentine's Day and fear of no control. None of those things much mattered today.

This morning, I attended an AA meeting that was an act of real love. Not manufactured, romanticized red-hearts and candy kind of love. Just pure, honest, this-is-the-stuff life is about love.

A member of my local AA community is in hospice within a hospital, as he battles a rapidly moving brain cancer. He was diagnosed almost a year ago and has faced it with complete grace. And still does. One of his requests was to have the members of this community bring the fellowship of AA to him, as he does his life 1 day at a time. What I was not aware of prior to going to this meeting was the fact that there is an existing AA meeting at this hospital, on Sunday mornings. So, it was a partnership of sorts --- our community supporting our beloved member joining the folks who attend their regular Sunday meeting. It was the largest AA meeting I've ever attended. There were upwards of 150 people there. A good 75% were from our community. Watching each familiar face enter the room made my eyes well up with tears of total appreciation and love. Each person hugged the guest of honor or offered a little gift. He was in a wheelchair and in amazing spirits, not to mention totally lucid and present. He has been in AA for a long time, so there were members that came from all over to support and be with him.

The speaker was someone who, in his words, "owes my life to him" as he first met this incredible member of ours when he was in prison due to where his alcoholism led him and our member was in service for AA bringing meetings to prisons. The gratitude that was expressed by this speaker was overwhelming. When he compared his life before sobriety to now, it was like going from the depths of hell to a fairy tale. One of the powerful statements this speaker made was: "In sobriety, I had nothing to lose but my pride and my ego and my terror." I had chills run through my entire body hearing those words. Particularly, because of an incredible line in the passage I read just this morning from my teacher Jason's book. It goes like this: "Be naked. You have nothing to lose but pride and fear."

One other fantastic statement this speaker shared was something he tells himself everyday: "If I wake up and the sheets are dry and I'm not in prison, it's gonna be a helluva good day." That's being pretty naked, alright.

Many folks who shared acknowledged both the courage and the sincerity of the speaker coupled with their experience of the love in the room in support of this member who wants to actively have "the hand of AA" holding his until the end. It was unlike any event I had ever been part of before. There were tears of sadness and tears of belly-laughter. There was a warmth and a coziness among every person sitting in that room, regardless if they knew one another previously or not. We were there first because we have a desire to stop drinking and want to be sober. And, as part of that commitment to ourselves, we were there to carry the message to a member most in need.

We sat with him afterwards until he expressed that he needed to lay down. G-d willing, many of us will be back next Sunday. And, some of us will try to bring literature and sit with him at different times during the week. His visiting hours are wide open, 24-7.

This experience for me is one that I will not soon forget. On my drive home, I had one of my very greatest fears laid to rest after this meeting -- which is, the fear of dying alone. As long as I am a member of AA, that will never happen. What an incredible feeling it is to really know that.

This is what real love is. Anything beyond is icing on the cake.