Farewell to a Greek Goddess

Greek Goddess
Originally uploaded by kaphrodite97
About 2 hours ago, I received an email from my oldest friend from high school. He was writing from the Houston airport, having flown yesterday from Pakistan; this was a layover stop before he heads to South Carolina, for his mother's funeral.

He informed me that his mother died suddenly just on Wednesday. My jaw dropped reading his note, as I was literally talking about her in a conversation on Wednesday evening with a friend from AA. His mother is not someone I would ever talk about with any regularity; in fact, I may not have ever spoken about her for upwards of 15 years or more. She came up in conversation because my friend was to be catering a huge bridal show in my hometown on New Yr's Eve day. I shared with her that my oldest friend from high school's mother, had she still remained in our hometown, would have likely been part of the bridal show, as she had an incredible bridal boutique for many years during the time I lived there. She sold her business when she remarried and then eventually moved to South Carolina. I also shared with her that my friend's mother made the best greek meatballs, known as Keftedes, hands-down and that we'd talk her into making them for us any chance we could.

In my friend's email today, he writes in his note: "One of my favorite memories is when we got mom to come down when we lived together to make us her greek meatballs and she readily complied!"

I have chills as I type this thinking about how we are connected and never separated and how her spirit was present in my conversation Wed night, literally at the time she had left this earth plane, and how my friend and I simultaneously reminisced about her meatballs and here she is, present and powerful in our connection.

Her name was Marion. She had a physical presence that halted you in your tracks. She was tall, beautiful in that strong, Greek, matriarchal goddess kind of way. When she entered a room, she commanded attention without having to say a word. But she ALWAYS had something to say. She was assertive, expressive, brilliant and bold. She was the polar opposite of my mother in every single way. I was actually intimidated by her when we first met. As I started hanging around her home, I just wanted to be around her more and more. She represented strength and independence and individuality.

It is interesting to look back in time and realize that somewhere in the background, she was quite influential. She had her own business. She ended an abusive relationship while her son and I were in high school. She was a strong advocate for all of her children, wanting to see them go to college, be successful. And she was deeply passionate about everything she put her hands to.
I admired her and perhaps, as I understand more clearly now, I wanted to be my own person like her, possessing her character and strength. It really strikes me how I don't always give a lot of thought as to who the role models were in my life until I stop and pause and conduct a more thoughtful examination. She was definitely in the top 10.

I remember that my mother didn't like her. She would say things like: "She's pushy" or "She's gruff". I understand now that someone like her would be too threatening for my mother to really take in. Particularly because she did the very thing that my mother was too fearful to do: leave an abusive marriage. My mother didn't have a job or any form of indepedence or security to fall back on; she was, in essence, trapped. Marion put all 3 of her children through college as a single mother. This was much more the exception rather than the rule in the late 70's/early 80's.

And she was a tough parent. She taught her children how to survive. She worried most about her oldest son, my friend, who was affeminate and soft-spoken during high school. Teased unmercifully. She would pull me to the side, tears in her eyes, asking if he was okay. It broke her heart when he came out as a gay man, yet she stood by him no matter what. Her middle child, the only girl in the family, went through a divorce after an abusive marriage, repeating her mother's cycle. She too was strong like her mother and was supported to leave this relationship. Her youngest boy struggled with grades in college and drug addiction. Her tough love approach got his butt back in school and he is a successful archeologist, living in his mother's native country of Greece.

I am grateful to have known this incredible woman. And to recognize that she modeled for me what was possible to become today, as an independent, self-employed woman. Who also left an abusive relationship and survived. And thrived.

May your legacy continue to live on, Marion. Rest in peace.